1.I understand that by clicking "Enter" I am acknowledging that I am a computer nerd over the legal adult lawful age of consent in my country, state, county, city and/or incorporated village and too scared to go inside a store and buy real pornography.
2. (to be filled in later)
3. I indemnify and hold blameless the godless creators of this morally reprehensible garbage for any and all damages which may result, either directly or indirectly, from accessing this material. I further assume all liability for any damages which might result from viewing, accessing, visiting this site or allowing others to do so, including having my eyes melt off my face, my brain turn into Jell-O Brand Gelatin Dessert or an increased desire to shoot at people from a book depository with a Mannlicher-Carcano.
4. I agree that I will not steal this site outright and put it on my own website and pass it off as my own work. Nor will I use, view, access, share, think about, or show my sniggering co-workers this site in violation of international agreements and/or treaties, or federal, state, county, city or incorporated village laws or their non-U.S. equivalent. Nor will I share any materials on this site with minors or allow minors to view any portion of this site, or mix paper and plastic recyclables or allow minors to mix paper and plastic recyclables.
5. I am not a cop, pig, fascist pig, fuzz, narc, CIA spook, Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksman, or member of any law enforcement or debt-collection agency.
6. I acknowledge that I have been duly warned, and that I voluntarily consent and agree to view material, images, and text of an explicit nature that may be considered offensive, morally objectionable and in questionable taste because I am one sick puppy.
7. I acknowledge that me, myself, and I, are, is, and am solely responsible for being aware of, and abiding by, all conditions of access, including any changes, and agree to read these terms in their entirety prior to each access of this site no matter how unfunny they become.